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Why ‘Soft Skills’ Aren’t Soft at All

 

We’ve called them “soft skills” for so long that the name itself has started to downplay their weight. It makes them sound optional. Secondary. Something to get to after the “real” work.

 

But the truth is - they’re anything but soft.

 

Listening without rushing to reply. Holding a difficult conversation without breaking trust. Reading the energy of a room before deciding how to respond. Keeping your composure when everything in you wants to defend.

 

These aren’t easy. They’re not “add-ons” to your technical knowledge - they’re the skills that decide whether people trust you, follow you, or even stay connected to you at all.

 

And here’s what most don’t realise - they aren’t just learned through professional development. They’re shaped by your self-awareness. By how regulated your nervous system is. By how willing you are to sit in discomfort without reacting.

 

If you’ve never looked at your own patterns - the way you speak under pressure, the way you listen when you’re distracted, the way your body reacts before your mind catches up - no training can truly embed these skills.

 

Because human skills aren’t just about how you treat others - they’re about how well you know yourself.

 

If you’re leading people, working with clients, or even navigating personal relationships - your technical expertise will open the door. But your ability to stay grounded, connected, and respectful - even when things get tense - will decide if you stay in the room.

 

This week’s reflection: What part of you shows up when the conversation is uncomfortable - the practiced professional, or the unfiltered you? And if it’s the unfiltered you… is that who you want to be?

 

 

 

✍🏼 Written by Abigail Richard

Founder of arickard | Coach & Consultant | Author of Self-Love Blueprint & Unbreakable. Supporting leaders and changemakers to regulate their nervous system, gain clarity, and find calm - so they can lead with presence, purpose, and emotional depth.

 

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